I Found Your Cell Phone In A Pile Of Vomit
Missed Connections in Nashville
While walking downtown a while ago, I narrowly avoided stepping in a rather large puddle of puke.
As I evaded this misstep, I noticed a pink/purple cell phone buried deep within the noodly confines.
Assuming it was a girl’s phone–presumably one who could not hold her liquor–I freed it from its entanglement of resurfaced meals in hopes of finding an array of nude photos that girls are so prone to taking on these devices nowadays.
The phone, unfortunately, is dead. Your stomach acid must have been too much for it to handle.
However, all of the photos on it are in tact.
Although you turned out to be a dude, I figured you’d probably want your pictures/memories back regardless.
Prove to me that it’s your phone and I’ll send you all the pictures from it.
NOTE FROM THE MISSED CONNECTIONS CHIEF BOTTLE FINDER:
Missed Connections involving vomit are not infrequent on the many feeds I follow (my informal data collection methods shows Boston as the leader in this category), but rarely are they as descriptive as this one from Nashville. While it’s certainly a kind, good-hearted gesture to seek out the owner of the phone, I’d like to know just how it was retrieved from those “noodly confines.” That’s a poet with a strong curiosity AND stomach!