Be Nice To Me
Missed Connections in Bloomington
I really like you.
A lot. I think you’re great, in fact!
You’re smart, funny, and totally crazy-cat-lady in a way I find charming, rather than creepy.
But if you ever stand too close to an elevator shaft wearing those deliciously fabulous purple shoes from that outlet in Louisville, I will not hesitate to push you down it…
albeit AFTER I take your shoes.
I’ve killed for less, my friend. Much less.
So yeah. You should consider trying to make yourself a little more personable so that there’s better reason for me to keep you around.